Motivation

Why PhD

During my undergraduate years, I had already become quite certain that I wanted to pursue research. That’s why, during the recommendation season(保研季), I mainly applied to the PhD programs.

Unfortunately, I didn’t secure a recommendation offer in the end. At that point, I seriously considered preparing for graduate school entrance exams, but I realized that I wasn’t really drawn to a path where a master’s degree serves as an intermediate step.

More importantly, during my time working in a research group as an undergraduate, I experienced a particular state of mind — being able to focus deeply on problems, to think, and to build things in a sustained way. That kind of state felt very important to me.

After that, I tried to continue pushing my project forward, hoping to produce results for PhD applications abroad. Although things didn’t work out in the end, that experience actually made me more certain that what I want is to seriously do research, rather than just continue studying in a formal sense.

So when I had to take a gap period, I chose not to prepare for exams. Instead, I’d rather look for opportunities like a research assistantship or a visiting student position, where I can stay in an environment that is still centered around research and continue working on things I care about.

From the outside, this path might not seem like the most stable one. But for me, what matters more is whether I can preserve that state — the ability to genuinely think about problems and stay engaged with them — rather than gradually losing it in a path that doesn’t quite fit.

Some people have asked me why I didn’t choose the more conventional path — preparing for graduate school exams — and instead took what seems like a less common route. But to me, it’s not just about continuing my education for the sake of having a degree. What matters more is being able to spend my time doing something I genuinely want to do.

I’ve also heard doubts — that as just an undergraduate, choosing such an uncertain path might be naive, especially given how competitive PhD applications have become. Maybe there is some truth in that. But I also think people need a period of naivety — a time when they are willing to try things they might not dare to attempt later on. Otherwise, it feels a bit like asking: if we all eventually end up lying in bed when we grow old, why not just lie down from the very beginning?